Since my mother’s passing, I seem stuck on a memory from several years ago.
My stepdaugher was getting married and during the reception, which my mom attended, I kept thinking I should go over and ask mom to dance.
Perhaps since this was an afterthough, maybe even a good idea that got interrupted in the moment of many activities, I did not follow through and now, I am left with the memory of what I did not do.
Loss gives one time to reflect, to consider what we did or didn’t do. It gives us a chance to recall how we acted and who we were with those who no long share our world. I have to imagine that it is common for one to have regrets with those we love, with those who have been so much a part of our lives. I have many moments I would like to do over, and in reflection I see how I could have been a better son, a more mature person, a more accepting man. I see a lot with hindsight. I know how things could be better, more enjoyable for me, for my mom, for those in my life.
At the end of the evening when the sun is low, and the stars reflect a glow from the passing day, I look up and recall lots of moments. Quite often, I wish I had danced with my mother.
1 comment:
That is why it is important to grasp every moment as if it was the last time you'll ever get that chance again, especially when you feel compelled to do it. If you had danced with your mother that day, and everytime you had a chance after that, you would the thinking how glad you are that you did. I go to lunch everytime my father-in-law asks me. Not because I think that this may be the last time we get to go but so I can remember all the great lunches we had together. My dad has been gone over 2 years and I still remember the hours we spent together working on projects or putting up Christmas lights. I want to remember everything we did, not the things we didn't.
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